Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
