I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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