Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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