Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
