Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
