she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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