she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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