You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
