I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
