haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want to be your penis for a week.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
