im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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