No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
