Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
