I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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