Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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