like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My dad is sitting where you rode me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
