He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
