I'd wear matching sweaters with you
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
