Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
