i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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