He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
