arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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