forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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