dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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