i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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