in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
