Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
