i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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