OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
