Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
then he tried to convert me to islam
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
