oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
