Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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