I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
