I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
