i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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