Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
They have beer where we have blood.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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