ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
