is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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