Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
