I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You were trust falling into bushes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
