wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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