So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
