it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
