We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
