i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
