What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
