On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
its liver damage thursday
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