I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
did i walk over a car last night?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
