matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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