I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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