I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
