a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
