no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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